Advanced Composition: The Knuckle Ninny- An Exaggerated Case of A Bad Habit

The Knuckle Ninny

            Winnie E. Worries had a bad case of the worries. Her middle name was “Excessively,” which happened to be an unfortunate family name from her mother’s side. Winnie’s worries prevented her from having fun because she would constantly fret about the future with every “what if” scenario. Her worries overwhelmed her to the point where it was nearly suffocating. Like her middle name said, she worried excessively.

            Agonizing, overthinking, brooding, and panicking were all things that Winnie experienced on a regular basis. She had trouble concentrating because of her constant worrying. This trait became an issue for Winnie because of how irrational she was becoming.  Winnie started to imagine things being worse than they really were. When she had a headache, she thought she had a brain tumor. Winnie could not think clearly or focus on reality because she was so caught up in the future by overreacting to every little thing. As a coping method, Winnie cracked her knuckles frequently. When she woke up and a worry emerged, she cracked her knuckles. When she was waiting in line at the department store to return something, she cracked her knuckles. The cracking noise somewhat soothed her by bringing her back to a more peaceful state of mind. When Winnie cracked her knuckles, she was distracted from the real world. It was a successful coping method that worked for a small period of time.

            After adopting this new method, Winnie noticed some changes in her hands. They were blowing up like balloons that had too much helium. Her hands appeared as large as big boxing gloves. They were getting bigger and bigger like a weed in a garden. Once Winnie noticed these unfortunate changes in her appearance, it only made her worry more. She was diagnosed with arthritis.  Due to the excessive habit she had adopted, however, there was no cure for her hands. To make matters worse for Winnie, winter was approaching. As a resident of Wisconsin, the weather grew cold and dreary. Warm gloves were the best way to survive a Wisconsin winter, but wearing gloves proved to be a problem for Winnie because she couldn’t fit her large hands into any pair of gloves.  She contracted hypothermia, making her a functional invalid.  People began referring to her as the “Knuckle Ninny.”

             Winnie was at her worst by the time spring came around. Her hand nerves no longer functioned because of her excessive case of hypothermia. To make matters even worse, her bad habit got her into even more trouble.  When it was Winnie’s turn to go to jury duty, she was stuck. She couldn’t drive with her swollen hands that would not fit into gloves. There was also nobody around for miles because Winnie lived in a rural part of Wisconsin. As a result, Winnie did not make it to jury duty. Not much later, the police showed up to arrest the “Knuckle Ninny.” Winnie E. Worries was last seen when the police attempted to handcuff her, but due to the size of her hands, were not successful.  

-Stephanie Sandra